I'm going to jail i love you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
