12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
false alarm, still single
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
