it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
