Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
