Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize