Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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