i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
