hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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