I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
