I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
