i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
