the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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