Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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