people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
