my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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