We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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