And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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