please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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