nut hugger
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
