Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
