Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
