...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
