we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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