You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
operation harelip BJ is a go
honey bunches of taint.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
