so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
