belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
