dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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