I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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