Buhtt sex?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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