So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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