I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
