I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I can't turn off my feet"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
