you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
