4 words: hood of his car
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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