There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
