I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How's work?
Spinning.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
