i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
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