I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
