it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
