And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
