Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
