I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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