At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
