that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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