she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize