I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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