your room smells of hookers.
And success
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
