We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He better not be in your backpack
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
