last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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