Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize