every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
