he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
