Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
