I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
