im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
