weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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