hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
